Speaking of last week and paternal relationships. I ran into my father for the first time in seven or eight years. When I saw him I had no intentions of acknowledging him. I was asked to step back by someone I grew up with.
Lil’ Deon was with me. This was the first time he had met the man. The last time he saw Lil’ Deon, he was about three. My son has an uncle and and aunt he has never met. Aaliyah, his aunt, is a year or two younger than him. I have another sister. She just turned four or five that neither of us have met. I am not even sure anyone is aware that I know about her.
The paternal unit wanted to act as though he had been a father to me and was actually concerned about me or my son. He hasn’t tried to contact me in all the years I haven’t seen him. My grandmother’s number hasn’t changed in like 15 years. I am still in contact with cousins, my grandmother and so on. I even found my little brother and sister on MySpace. He knew they were in contact with me.
To give you a little history, I stopped talking to him because he wanted a paternity test to get out of back child support. That wasn’t what offended me. He went further, in order to justify his position, to suggest that I get tested for my son as well. My son had just turned five. What the fuck do I need to get tested after all that time for? He and I had both already bonded. Why put him through the bullshit and for that matter myself?
I did not introduce him to my son. I just don’t see the point in the inclusion of absent people in my son’s life. So as we walked off, Lil’ asked, “That is your father?” I am sure he will have more questions eventually and I will be ready to answer truthfully as always. He has the right to know.
The truth is… I am his father, he is my son and there was nothing else that I needed to know.
My only hope is that this could be an opening to reconnect with my brother and sisters. Especially, Aaliyah. I know even though she hasn’t grown up around me, she loves me. She made that very clear.
Tags: fatherhood