You know those times you wake up and can’t remember what you dreamt about or whether or not you have dreamed. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on your point of view, this was not the case for me this morning. Too bad I am not writing while the horror is still fresh in my mind.
The dream was extremely vivid. I woke up screaming this morning… Well not exactly screaming… I was awakened because I heard myself moaning loadly. I had been screaming in my dream. I am still quite a bit confused by what had taken place.
Normally, when I have a dream this realistic, it is based on my reality. Usually, my life is taking a turn and I am processing events, past and future, and possible outcomes. It would be great that I could do this… if I could always remember my dreams when they’d be most helpful.
This time it wasn’t about an endless fall where I took some time on the way down to reflect on how I have lived. It was not about some fight I had long ago that I wished I had apologized for my part in. Nor was it about a possible love I let slip away.
I dreamt of being happy. I dreamt that I was in love or falling in love with a beautiful, sweet woman — Not my perfect, faceless, woman. During the short time I was sleep, things had time to build up to beautiful, perfect moments that could only be tailored in your dreams — Lovemaking under the stars with seamless transitions from waterfalls to beach and then back between our shimmering satin sheets — to horrific.
I had just finished a phone conversation with my son and as I reached over to hang up I saw something under the bed. My first response was to look to her safety. Turning towards her maniacally disfigured face. Don’t be afraid! It doesn’t make you evil, it just brings it out of you,
she said. I woke up with her attached to my lower body poking at my cheeks.
What is the message? What am I missing?
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