No names… no specifics… Going to try to keep it short.
Over the last, I guess, thirty six hours or so, I have been engages in conversations with various people. I have had a chance to think and process what has been going on. I am not going to defend myself. I don’t feel the need to nor do I feel like I am worthy right now. I have taken so much pride in who I am and who I am thought to be… I just feel like I have fallen short of expectations, most of all mine.
As a matter of fact, I have been used. It has been happening for some time and I didn’t see it. I have come to this realization because someone completely unrelated to the situation that has become the latest gossip and the current subject of my blog paid IDK! a visit.
Well it’s like this… I have been used to supplement something that might have been lacking otherwise. Someone, a friend, cut me off now that she has someone. She no longer “just needs to feel I am there.” What was I to you guys? You just dropped me!
Through all the threats, all the accusations, all the shit that was being thrown around. No one ever stopped to ask, who approached who and why or how? No one asked what was being said to me or why it was so hard for me to pull away. No one asked about my side of the story. No one cared what they meant to me. Even the people I, everyone, thought were my (e)friends played me. No one asked what was Deon feeling. Everyone knows I am not malicious and hurtful. Everyone knows I am human. None of my friends jumped up and said “Hey, is this all true?” Fuck it though! It is what it is and what will be, will be… It’s just like fucking eureka son!
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