To sum it all up, I had a bad day at work. I mean, some really little shit was bothering me in really deeply. Nibbling, gnawing and finally eating away at me…
I suppose I am just having one of those days. Everyone has a bad day here and there. Today just happened to be mine. I suppose, I knew that today wasn’t going to be a particularly memorable day when I woke up the first time. As it was time to get up for work, after my nap, I was telling a “chat companion” via instant messenger that I didn’t want to get up, I didn’t want to do anything. I really didn’t.
I started thinking about my friends and their problems, I was talking to a couple through text and another over the phone and got a call from yet another who wanted to tell me about a falling out she had with some guy I didn’t even know existed until tonight. I probably should have, but we don’t talk nearly as much as we should.
I just want my “friends” to smile. I try to do whatever it is that I can to make them feel a little better… don’t I? Even if I just do a smile check, which currently is reserved for only one.
Everyone is having difficulty, it seems, for one reason or another. I am too. I guess it’s particularly difficult for me right now because I can’t put what I am feeling into words. I need someone special to share with
as I put it earlier. I need non-verbal communication.
I can’t say what I need so does it still mean I need to talk? Why not just someone to lay with, to watch television with, to talk about nothing with, just to laugh. I can simply lay my head on her chest, her tummy, in her lap or if she is laying on her stomach, her derrière. Maybe the conversation can take place within our exchange of glances…
I don’t know… perhaps I want too much.