I am thinking a lot lately. I have taken myself off of twitter for a little bit. I am not feeling too hot.
A year ago this time I was riding high. I would have been out of debt by now. I would have been looking for an apartment. A year ago this time I was still living with my mother, because the year before that I decided that occupying her couch for a year or two would be mutually financially beneficial to the both of us. I took on all of her recurring bills. I took on one of her credit cards, the one with the highest or next to highest balance. The idea was that by December 31st 2008, we’d be in a good spot to take on whatever we, she or I, wanted to.
Last June, I lost my job… Perhaps I will go into the details later. For now they are irrelevant. While I struggled, I stayed my course. I was still on track with my goals. I didn’t plan for the for the way things would play out over the course of the next few months. Work did not come as quickly as I had hoped. Unemployment was stripped from me on some semantic bullshit. And my mother put my little boy and I out.
Fast forward… I don’t give up. I am not one to accept a defeat, not like this anyway. I believe in choosing your battles. Aside from that, someone is counting on me.
This week there seemed to be a wave of depression moving across the web. I think, at some point, it began to affect me. I began thinking about the past year and the progress I made. For the person I see myself as, I don’t feel I have made any movement towards anything worthwhile. That is not to say I have done nothing, but I feel I have done little.
I have been thinking about my blog. I have been thinking about it’s design. I have been thinking about it’s content. I mean, what will I write? I was on someone else’s blog earlier today and she had a quote by Thomas Jefferson, “Write something worth reading or do something worth writing.” I think that is right. Problem is… I wonder if I am still interesting enough to chronicle my exploits and endeavors here. I am not doing much. I am not traveling. I am not going out regularly. I am not even having sex, so I can’t allure you with the explicit details of my recollections.
I do know that business will pick up, hopefully sooner than later.