I Don’t Know

Some people might think that I can be emotional, but for the most part I am a stoic and will only show you or say what I want you to hear or know. I can’t hold it all in after all. I sometimes wish things weren’t like that. I wish I could share more, but with who?

In my perfect world, I am not shy and can speak my mind openly. I don’t have to worry about who will not approve or who might disagree. Unfortunately, a lot of the time I do, Well most of the time I don’t. I am almost completely self contained. I live in my own world. I am learning not to care about certain things.

Even though I might hide it well. I do care. I care about what she thinks, I care about what he thinks, sometimes I care about what you think.

Love is something that escapes me. Why? I am not sure. Maybe due to my shyness. Maybe, I am not making enough connections. Maybe I just don’t feel as though I deserve to be loved. In my dreams, I am lovable. I am worthy.

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