Six months ago… When you first screamed “Hi!” at me to get my attention, we’d be laying here together.
Who would have thought through our limited conversations about the people you were trying to push out of your life and the ones I had hoped to pull into mine we’d have arrived here? Then, it was so much about everyone else, our friends, our family, our work…
I held off on posting this for several weeks now. I have seriously messed up. I am posting it now because most people are already aware of what has taken place. I am not trying to justify my actions as there is no justification.
I started this on the 29th. The post was named for a friend, I have now lost. My fault.
Sometimes loneliness gets the best of me. I don’t know what it is, but I feel so empty on days like this when I don’t have much to do. I just start thinking and realize that I don’t have anyone to think about, no one to call my own.
It’s been about a week and a half, lost for words. Reaching far… I am really into her, but who am I kidding? I don’t deserve it. It isn’t real. It will pass. She is young and just discovering things. I don’t want to disrupt her life but I fear I already have. No matter how hard I fight it. I want to be near her. It’s unbelievable but I spend so much time on the phone with her. It hasn’t been long. I am just a fad though, she is with someone and I am just a fleeting moment but still I find myself looking forward to interacting with her.